so far so good!
i have managed to nibble wel more like slurp at a yogurt but i got fed up of the way it felt all gross,slimey and cold so i threw it away. mum was home for lunch and made spag bol so i had to sit down and eat some.managed to distract her enough to hide it in a little plastic bag. ive take to carrying one around so when i'm in sticky situations i can just hide food in there until i can throw it away. feeling pretty good today going to wash my hair in a bit then hopefully if there is enough time before work im going to go on my new cross trainer!!!!!
hope everyone is doing well
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ok right im gettin so angry wit my body!!!!for weeks and weeks ive lowered my cal intake and upped my exercise but i dont appear to be losing anything!!! weighed myself on digi scales an it said 10'10 an i was happy but then curiousity got the better of me and i weighed in on old school scales and it said 11'10 ???? WTF is goin on?!!
i have two weeks till my 21st an im gonna b fat!so much for wearin summit amazing an lookin stunnin ill b the fat little twat in the corner no one will want to dance wit!
right now im so pissed off an fed up! thought ana was my friend but rite now shes betrayin me!!i want to be thin i want to be beatiful and nothing is happening...why?
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ok i weighed in last night an on the old scales it said one thing and the digital ones another an its like a half stone differnce!!! so what do u ladies think?

otherwise quite happy had a pro-biotic yogurt for breakfast, 1 and a half cups of tea,endless amounts of water.. the only bad thing is lunch time i had a small portion of boiled ham and potatoes but i brought it all up..been workin all morning running around and just did half hours dance high impact!
just really missin things in my mouth(i no it sounds gross!) but i miss food but as soon as i hav food i feel sick...might invest in some lollies to suck thru the day?xxx

ok so i had a little rant earlier and im not feeling any better now i jus weighed myself an ive put on like 5 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so unhappy with it all!
2moro is the start of the rest of my life im not eatin eva agin i jus cant control myself if i pick!!!!
toyin wit idea of usin laxs but i heard they r really bad for u so any suggestions wud be appreciated!
also any ideas on excercise which burns fat an is quite...i only really get chance to do ne at midnight wen everyones asleep but i dont want 2 wake them all up!
hope your all doing better then me
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im ashamed to admit the past few days i been havin a really weird time...my fast went so well until i got dizzy spells so i was eatin a real small amount in the evening to stop myself passin out well i still hadnt lost nething so agreed to meet a friend in a pub for a chat ect...ended up eatin fuck loads.sat nite ended up with a pizza sunday a fucking roast yesterday a mac donalds an today nothing....so far!!!everyone keeps sayin i look skinny but i aint lost nethin more yet still stuck a 10stone 13 pounds :( but yeh because dey all keep sayin im skinny everyon e is takin me out for lunch or buyin me fast food...its like they want me to be fat and its makin me really paranoid an i dont like it!
any tips on speedin up the weight loss thing?im jus goin to hav to start lyin to people about what i've eaten!!!

problem is im a real bad liar!


help meout neone?!
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i was so proud today i fasted all day so far went joggin did my workout dvd and den i went all funny again...im goin to  a gig tonite so i dont wana faint!!so i figured id hav a smal summit...my little piece of scampi turned into 6 pieces an a pork chop!!!!!the only good thing is i also cooked chips but didnt touch them!!!feelin grossly full an might go purge!
hope ur all doin better dan me!
xxx

today was okish

made up with the bf :D
went to work an ran around like a crazy biatch!!!!
went the whole day witout eating...den the dizziness and faitness began...i started to trip ova in work an nearly went completly over...one of my friends sat me dwn and told me my silly diet has to stop....see i spun the line i was on the maple syrup diet so dats y im not eatin and they r all so iggnorant they believed me....well my friend called my supervisor who told me to eat or they were gettin doctor out, since i work in a nursing home that wud b easily done! so i txt my buddy who told me rough cal content of wot they prepared me n ate it...felt betta finished work and get home an der sat waitin 4 me is nothin but a mac donalds...LARGE
well still terrified the doctor will get involved i ate it an ate n ate...
now i feel completly poisioned i hv no lax cant purge cos parents r asleep an jus feel so disgusting!
2moro ill do better i have to! no work so no-one sticking der noses in an im goin to jog all day!!!!!!!!!
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hey girls...had an ok day except for work!although i did eat a sandwich an a spoonful of macorni cheese cos i felt faint!
went jogging and did half hr of weights bearing exercise...still dissapointed im not losing anything!!!im stuck at this stupidly gross weight and gettin really pissed off...jus want to hack off all the fat...but i no its a bad idea.
now im really angry and upset wit myself...im hardly eatin and nothings happening!
hope ur all doin better
xxx

been on a fast since fridy an its goin really well my self control has returned!!

but theres a huge issue ive not lost nething!!!im gettin really pissed off wit it all jus want the fat to go!!!
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to keep busy when its too cold to go outsidei decied to start my thinspo diary book...also take daily fotos of the scales and my body to remind myself everyday how much closer im gettin!
still stuck at the minus 7 pounds mark!!!hmmm
bit of yoga an aeroburn dvd 4 me
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yah finished work!!!but OMG im so tiered!!!got thru my shift with bout 3 hrs sleep!
im so proud today ive had a toasted teacake which i picked at and a small bowl of califlower cheese cos supervisor was watchin me.feeling really positive today like i can suceed!!!

lets jus hope the night time hunger pangs dont get me!!!!ne ideas advice on keepin occupied and stopping the pain from hunger?
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how do i describe today?
weird!
was doing so well till i went to work
normally my wonderful job puts me off food even more........today it didnt!
i binged i have to admit!!
i had chocolate cake,three jelly sweets,4 little cheese sws and a teacake...topped off by a macdonalds my darling bf had brought me...
couldnt purge...got caught out at work an forced to eat food cos i looked "ill".
but sumhow i've lost anotha pound?!!!
every grey cloud has a silver lining!!

plus it snowed a little :D
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im so bored!!!cookin tea atm seein food in its raw state tuens my tummy!relly proud only had one wine gum sweet an a forkful of mash an chicken today and spent at least 2 hrs walking around........but still no fat has gone!!!!
why?
im really annoyed im not eatin..im excersing....im still fat!!!
xx

heya girlies! hope all is gd?
im really proud of myself.
SAT: ate nothing but drank enough alcohol lol but danced all nite
SUN:ate a takeaway chinese but threw it all up...wasnt cooked o dear lol dun a serious workout wit the the bf ;)
TODAY: bf says i look like i've lost weight an toning up.....got the guts to weigh myself an ok its not a massiave loss but im proud ive lost 6 pounds!!!! been for a jog wit my dog in the snow today an it gav me time to reflect on things...managed to fast all day today except for a glass of cola but family round tonite 4 tea so i gotta try an force myself to eat summit or give it to dogs under the table.
i brought that new ministry of sound workout dvd too...bugger me its hard going!!!! i recomend it to all!!!!
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jus went dwnstairs to hav me tea...i managed 3 small roast pototoes 1 piece califlower 3 mini sasuages an a slice of turkey. thats all i hav today an i feel like a fat tit now!!!my tummy hurts!
uhhhh
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i hav such a lazy day didnt wake up till 3pm lol
taken dogs 4 a walk and so far not eaten nething or drank nething except water
cant get out of tea thou!!!told mum not feeling wel so i dont want alot an i can jus pick at it
only moan of the day is i have a really bad headache an it wont go away...ne ideas?
hope ur all doin well
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totally had a fucked up day!! ate very little probably worked it al off before i vomed up!


had a full on breakdown at work
cant keep doin my shitty job its killing me!!!!

i am unbelievely stressed an i want to eat but cant i luk at food an all i see is shit or sick or summit equally gross


huge issues wit the bf!!!!

i want to leave him but im scared

feel like  a fat waste of space!


to tp it al of friend cut my lush long hair.................short!!!!!!!!!
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hey i gtg work in half hr an i get so tempted to eat surroneded my lush food!!!ne1 up for being a text budie?i hav unlimited an need sum1 soon cos ive dun gr8 so far tody!!!!
hope ur all doing brilliant
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hey i've bin offline 4 a while due to an accident with gravy an my laptop!!! but neways im bck online yah!!!and also feel like im in control! i lost sum weight, not nearly enuff thou...still a fat fat pigy so need sum help speedin up this process i don want to b da fat girl at my own birthday partY!!!!
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